If you’ve jumped on the Ted Lasso bandwagon you know it is possible to be kind and competitive at the same time.

It’s a scripted show with a Hollywood storyline but I’ve actually worked with coaches who are that kind. I’ve seen fans be the ultimate encouragers. I’ve experienced entire communities rally around sports.

And after 20 years in sports broadcasting, I’ve seen the opposite.

I’ve heard fans yelling profanities at teenagers and try to explain their bad behavior by saying sports is their escape. Claiming you’re a different person at a game than you are at work is a convenient cop out, but it’s not true. You are the same person on game day as you are every other day of the week. The environment is different, but you are an extension of the same person. That’s why it’s important to be as intentional with your fandom as you are in your business relationships. This is all part of your brand.

As someone who attends...

There’s nothing wrong with focusing on the outcome of a game. It’s what most fans talk about which make scores, or at least noting a win/loss, helpful in small talk.

But there are other takeaways from games including communication and leadership lessons. I’ve outlined at least five ways you can level up your leadership skillswhile watching sports and coming up Wednesday you can join the conversation with former MLS player Roger Levesque at 10am PST. Use this link to register for free.

And of course you can use this list of sports conversation starters all week long.  

The pressure new sports fans put on themselves is immense. From thinking they need an answer to every question or believing they should know more facts or data, new and novice sports fans expect more of themselves than most fans do. 

It comes down to confidence.

Here’s what I mean, if you’re a long-time Seahawks fan who’s been busy at work the last couple days and haven’t had time to read about the latest roster move or read comments from Pete Carroll you don’t stop yourself from joining a football conversation and you don’t think you’re less of a fan. You think, and know, you’re a busy fan with more than your hobby vying for your attention.

New and novice fans, often lack the confidence to enter the conversation with that recognition and mindset. They more harshly judge their lack of knowledge or time spent on sports than anyone. And they don’t realize that all they need to do is define their area of expertise. 

This...

Fans in stadiums have led to the highest NFL ratings in six years. That’s based on numbers through the first four weeks of the regular season. Games have drawn an average of 17.4 million viewers. Not every one of them is a hard-core fan. Not every one has been a life long fan. There are varying levels of fans but their interest in football gives you a great starting point in small talk.

There are a couple NFL headlines listed in this week’s list of sports conversation starters and if football isn’t your thing there are other sports making news too.

Not all conversation starters are useful or even appropriate for small talk. 

I follow a few news outlets and newsletters that offer conversation starters that are definitely topics you should know about, but not practical for quick conversations at work. They’re also potential hot button issues. Just because you should know about a topic doesn’t mean you should be talking about it in casual conversations with colleagues and coworkers.

When choosing your conversation starters make sure you consider how much time you have for the conversation, who you’re talking to and where the conversation is taking place (i.e., in an elevator vs. over lunch.) 

Sports small talk fits the bill every time. It’s why I continue to offer a list of weekly sports conversation starters like these.

There are a lot of things you could talk about when you become a sports fan, and that’s part of the problem - there are too many things to talk about.

Here’s the best way to approach it: start small and start with the headlines.

Instead of watching all the football you can handle on a weekend and hoping to remember one or two things, pick one team to follow. You can narrow your focus even more and choose a favorite player on the team. When you see out information about your favorite player you’ll ended up learning about the team, league, opponents and trends along the way.

I know that still sounds like a lot and here’s where the headlines come in. Sports headlines are your secret weapon to building your sports knowledge base in a way that you can actually remember what you read and jump into sports conversations right way.

Now, when I say headlines, I literally mean just the headlines. I prefer the ones in an actual printed newspaper, but you can glance at...

In the last 18 months I’ve gotten pretty good at both hearing and saying, “I don’t know.” Sometimes it is the best answer, and sometimes it’s the only answer. 

It’s not always comfortable to admit you don’t have an answer, or that you don’t know any more details. This is one of the ways sports conversations can help, it’s a low stress, low-leverage way to practice not having all the answers.

If you get asked about the score of a game you didn’t watch saying “I don’t know. I didn’t watch the game,” is a great response. (It’s also the correct one because you shouldn’t try to fake your way through a conversation.) Sports small talk is a great way to practice a skill you need in bigger conversations. In the grand scheme of things no one cares if you watched the game but being able to confidently say “I don’t know”  is a skill you need in business conversations. ...

This is the silly family update I posted last week. My niece and nephew live in Houston, but there’s never been any doubt (at least in my mind) they would be Seahawks fans. Auntie Jen has made sure of that!

Most of the responses to this lighthearted Tweet were lighthearted in return. There were a few people, however, who saw it as an opening to say ugly things about Texas, people in Texas and other groups of people they didn’t like. 

I know you can use sports to springboard into many different topics – in fact I often encourage it. However, if you’re truly interested in small talk that builds relationships, there’s a benefit to “sticking to sports” and avoiding small talk that verbally attacks groups of people. 

You can choose how you want to talk to people about sports and you can choose to be kind. Keep that in mind when you use these conversation starters this week.

Sports fandom looks different to different people. Some fans memorize stats and are glued to the TV during games. Others take a more casual approach, enjoying the social aspect of watching games with others and taking in game day traditions and rituals. 

There’s no one way to be a sports fan. Don’t listen to the die-hards who claim they’re the only “real” fans in the building. On the flip side, give yourself credit for being a fan. You don’t need to make excuses for not watching more sports and you don’t need to apologize for only following the local team.

Here’s the one thing you should consider – changing your conversation tactics based on the type of fan you are and the type of fan you’re talking to.

Here’s a breakdown of how we at Talk Sporty to Me categorize sports fans.

Being aware of sports fan profiles can help you stay in your lane in a conversation. I realize that phrase can have a negative...

Do it because you can, not because you want to.

I heard a fitness instructor say that this week and it’s exactly how I feel when I’m coaching people on how to talk sports and engage in small talk. 

The conversation you think doesn’t matter actually opens the door for bigger conversations of greater substance. I can’t think of any athlete I’ve interviewed (and I’ve talked to hundreds of them) that I haven’t made small talk with at some point before starting the interview – even if it was just 15 seconds of introducing myself before going on live TV. 

You might not want to take time out of your day for small talk, but do it because you can and because it makes a difference in the long run.

Use this list of sports topics to start small talk conversations this week. If this list seems like a lot, then focus on the only question you need to be able to answer: “Who’s your team?”